Zim VS The Skeep
by Kwee
Summary: The IZ cast is terrorized by a strange, fluffy, and very mischievous little creature (part 4 up!) (though, it's not really much of an update...
1. Enter the Skeep

Note: I don't know WHY I wrote this. I usually don't like SI or author's own characters thrown into the mix, and here I am doing it!!! But, it's still kinda different, I guess... I just wondered one day how Zim would react to being obstinately pestered by a cute, fluffy little creature...  
  
Another note: What the heck is a "Skeep"? Go to this link to see a really old, really bad picture of a "Skeep":  
  
http://www.angelfire.com/goth/animebats/Skeep.jpg  
  
BTW: I don't own any of the IZ characters. They just wish I did. "The Skeep", however, is MINE!!! MINE, I TELLS YA!!! Oh, and I guess I also own myself (even though it seems that lately the credit card company owns me... *sighs*)  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Zim VS The Skeep"  
  
~*~  
  
School was DONE. Ms. Bitters' "doom" quota for the day had been more than fulfilled, and the students were finally set free to run mindlessly out into the real world. Zim wondered briefly as he exited the large double doors how this "skool" possibly prepared these filthy human dirt monsters for living in such chaotically complicated conditions (try sayin' THAT three times fast while drinking nail polish!)  
  
"Pheh!" With a little wave of his hand and a curt sound of disgust, Zim dismissed the subject from his mind. As he trod along the stained concrete tiles leading back to his makeshift "home", Zim silently thanked no one for the time alone he was granted between each horrible day of "skool". His base... Zim sighed, comforted. "My only sanctity of sanity...Even GIR does not bother to venture down into my labs...There, I can be ALONE..." Zim stopped for a moment, and proudly took in a large breath of air...which he subsequently gagged out. He growled, his fingers curling into his palms. "Human FILTH GAS!!!"   
  
The air on Irk was so much more....pure... Most likely because not many invaders actually LIVED on the planet... The few that were not assigned planets of their own to conquer either occupied various services under The Tallest, or were banished to other planets to live out their lives in more humiliating servitude. Zim paused again, eyes towards the heavens as if he might actually catch a glimpse of his beloved home planet, so very far away. He had not actually lived on his planet for any long, consecutive time... So many years he had spent all over the universe, but never, it seemed, on Irk. Years of training, years of scouting... He then shrank a little in disgust as he remembered his many years of banishment and servitude on the filthy grease-planet of Foodcourtia. Banished... his own Tallest had once banished him...banished ZIM!!! But, why?? He was certainly a more capable invader than the others... Zim shrugged off this line of thought. He WAS better... the Tallest had given him THIS assignment now... This most important, and most secretive, of assignments. His Tallest DID believe in him... He would not let them down...  
  
Zim turned the corner onto the last block of which his base stood square in the middle: fabricated by holographic technology; no more else than one lone couch and various other poorly-placed earthly devices, scant support beams, and many ganglia of wormlike wiring and tubes planted firmly into the disgusting earthly soil. "As much as I'd like to, I can't say this planet isn't sturdy...." Zim said aloud to no one. No one listened quite intently.  
  
Before turning onto the thin, gnome-guarded path between the porch and the sidewalk, Zim froze in his tracks. Something seemed.....not right.... He could not, for the life of him, much as he tried, place exactly what it was. There was the house, standing firm in it's foundation, the gnomes, the various absurd and tacky decorative lawn creatures... Zim may never have noticed until one "decoration" on the fenced cocked it's head in curiosity at the little Irken. Unknowingly, Zim mimicked the creature's action, tipping his own head to the side to meet this oddity eye-to-eye.   
  
Zim advanced until at an arm's length from the creature, and tipped his head towards the opposite shoulder, eyeing the tiny fluff-beast suspiciously. The beast seemed to mock him, moving it's own head again to meet the Irken's gaze. In an almost uncanny, and rather humorous, synchronicity, they brought their gazes upright. Zim glared at the little hair-monster on the fence. The hair-monster, in response, glared back.  
  
"Filthy...earth...FUR-MONSTER!!! You DARE mock ZIM?????" The Irken screeched. The creature seemed amused by this, and smiled happily, baring little white fangs. The beast then seemed to settle itself a little more on the fence before looking back up at the irritated alien, and letting out one single, solitary noise as response...  
  
"Skeep!" The little thing chirped.   
  
Zim shook his fist at the creature. "What is this code you speak in, earth FILTH?!?!? You will tell me what you are doing at my base!!!! NOW!!!"  
  
"Skeep!" The thing chirped again.  
  
Zim would have none of this...."Skeep"....that the thing spoke of. "Shoo! Go away!!" The Irken tried, in vain, to brush the little creature off of his fence. The tiny beast fluttered up on little bat wings as the alien's gloved hand passed over where he had been, then landed back down onto the same little spot on the fence. This went on for about five minutes before Zim finally tired of the beast's little "game".   
  
"GNOMES!! DESTROY THE FLUFF MONSTER!!" Zim faced his little "army", barking out the order. However, when Zim looked back to the fence, the creature was not there. His view was then suddenly obscured by a large pair of bright blue eyes.  
  
"SKEEP!!" The creature chirped from it's new perch atop the Irken's synthetic pompadour.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! GET AWAY!!!! GET AWAY!!!!" The Irken screamed, running around in circles. He suddenly froze in his tracks as he noticed all the gnomes circled around him.  
  
"NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"  
  
Zim barely managed to avoid becoming a crispy critter as the gnomes fired continuously in the direction of his head. The Irken finally screamed at the gnomes to stop, and the absurdly-disguised robots immediately complied. When the dust and smoke around them cleared, the strange creature was not to be seen. High above him in the air, the fluff-beast fluttered in place, looking down at him with a strangely amused look on it's little bat face.  
  
Confident that the threat was destroyed, Zim marched proudly to his front doorstep. He was just about to turn the knob of the front door when he felt a slight pressure bearing down on his head.   
  
"SKEEP!!!" The creature chirped, giving one last insolent wiggle as he furrowed a makeshift nest in Zim's wig.   
  
Zim growled loudly. He then began to shake his head furiously, hoping the throw the creature from his cranium, allowing him to safely slip into the base without incident. The beast grasped onto Zim's wig with his claws instinctively, but was thrown off nonetheless...along with the most crucial part of Zim's disguise.   
  
Zim threw his arms up triumphantly. "HAAHAAAAA!!! SUCCESS!!! YOU CANNOT DEFEAT ZIM, FILTHY HAIR-BEAST!!!" Zim suddenly froze in horror when he looked down at the little bat, now on the ground, with his toupee clutched in it's claws.  
  
Zim frantically reached up to touch his head, only to find his two alien antennae....and no hair. "ARGGGGHH!! FLUFF-MONSTER!! RETURN THE HAIR OF ZIM!!!" The Irken cried, uttering the last word with menacing, yet absurd, emphasis. The creature's eyes went wide, and it tore out of the yard on little bat wings as fast as they could carry him. The Irken quickly covered his head with the nearest available resource, and proceeded to follow the creature as best he could.   
  
The creature led Zim on quite a wild chase: through streets and alleys, over cars and dumpsters, and even through an elderly couple's living room. The Irken, however, never faltered in his chase. He kept his eyes glued to the creature as he followed it over hill and dale. This strategy, as useful as it might have been in, say, an open field, proved rather a hindrance than a help in a suburban neighborhood. The overzealously determined alien ran smack into a streetlight, knocking himself silly.   
  
Zim regained consciousness only moments later. He lay flat on his back, gaze cast towards the heavens. When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of what else but that horrible hair-monster smiling down at him from the top of the streetlight. Zim found the head covering he had hastily grabbed, and sheltered his alien head from the sun before any human could spot him. The well-trained Irken then abandoned all logic, reasoning, and dignity as he threw his fists towards the sky and let out the longest string of Irken obscenities any human has ever heard.  
  
About a block away on the street perpendicular to the one Zim was busy embarrassing himself on, Dib easily heard the unfamiliar language being screamed in a very familiar voice. Dib dropped his skoolbag and ran up ahead of his sister, who wordlessly scooped up the abandoned bag with one hand as she continued playing her GameSlave with the other. She wouldn't have done this if it weren't for the fact that she had stuck her own books in Dib's backpack so SHE wouldn't have to carry them. Her backpack was already full enough from games and game systems, as well as junk food. Why torture herself with the weight, when she could torture her brother? But, she still had to carry it NOW, nonetheless. She made a mental note to destroy her sibling whenever he decided to come home.  
  
As Gaz walked on to her destination, Dib rounded the corner, then stopped in surprise when he came upon the strange situation he had heard from a block down. Zim stood under the streetlamp, stomping, raving, and cursing loudly at some strange creature perched atop the metal post. Dib noticed the creature held Zim's wig in it's claws. He took in this scene with an odd kinda look, then walked up behind the ranting Irken. He crossed his arms, and waited for the venting alien to notice him standing there, but to no avail. Zim didn't even seem to notice the human watching him at all, and continued cursing the little fluff-beast, who was busy picking at the wig with it's claws.  
  
Dib cleared his throat loudly, but Zim continued his string of Irken obscenities. Dib finally got the alien's attention when he screamed into the invader's ear...or where one would be, anyway...  
  
Zim rubbed his temples in anger. "ERRRGGGHHH...WHY DID YOU DO THAT???" He screeched, scattering small drops of spittle along Dib's cheek.  
  
Dib nonchalantly wiped away the droplets with the back of his hand, then inquired of the alien calmly, "Zim, WHAT in the name of all things holy are you DOING???"  
  
Zim's eye twitched, and he looked back up quickly at the critter to make sure it was still there before responding to the troublesome human. "WHY is MY business of any importance to YOU, earth SCUM?!?!?"  
  
Dib cocked an eyebrow at him. "Um....because you're standing under a streetlight with a plastic lungfish on your head screaming in some unknown language at a fluffy little bat making a nest out of a toupee?"  
  
Zim glared at him, eyes filled with as much hate as he could muster that hadn't already been directed at the winged hair-monster. "BEGONE WITH YOU!!! I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR INSOLENCE TODAY!!!" And with that, he simply turned his back to the Dib-human, and continued his potty-mouthed rant at the obstinate little fuzz-demon atop the streetlight.  
  
Dib simply shook his head and shrugged. He doubted this little scene could have anything to do with world domination, and ran off to catch up with his sister, who was already more than a block ahead. When he did finally catch up to her, however, she belted him in the gut with his bookbag.   
  
Meanwhile, Zim was reaching heretofore unknown realms of sheer anger as the "bat" creature now had the toupee on it's head. It seemed to smile down at him, and again gave one lone, mocking "Skeep!"  
  
His brain not being able to handle the sheer MADNESS, he finally cracked, knowing nothing more to do than just scream angrily in defeat, clawing mindlessly at the air.  
  
"Tsk....YOU LITTLE TURD!!!!" Zim froze, and looked around frantically for the source of the voice. He saw a strange-looking young woman on the opposite side of the pole, looking up angrily at the horrible little fuzz-demon. She had unusual, tricolor hair, and various strange metal adornments scattered on her face. "DOWN!!" She barked.  
  
The little fluff-creature made a sort of sad noise of acquiescence, then flew down on it's little webby wings to perch on the woman's arm. She instantly noticed the hairpiece in it's claws. "Where did you get this???" She demanded of the creature. She then noticed the frazzled invader, and raised an eyebrow. She looked over the toupee in her hand, then approached the alien. "Um, is this yours?"  
  
Zim said nothing, but just stared, dumbfounded, into space. I line of drool hung from his lip and connected to the ground.  
  
"Ooooookaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay........." The woman rolled her eyes, then haphazardly placed the toupee on top of the plastic lungfish on the little Irken's head. "Um...here!" She then trod off, scolding the fluff-creature all the way down the street.  
  
For a moment, Zim could only just stand there, staring off into space.   
  
After about 10 minutes, the great Irken, Invader Zim, promptly........fainted. ~*~  
  
  
  
THE CHEESE-FLAVORED END!!!!  
  
Be kind, please rewind...I mean, review!!! 


	2. Return of the Skeep

Well, I don't know why, but I thought it was time for a return from our good friend, The Skeep. I don't think Zim's been terrorized enough yet. :} I might just make a little series with The Skeep terrorizing everyone (though I can imagine it would be incredibly hard to terrorize GIR...) I dunno...  
  
Anyways, if you didn't bother to read the disclaimer in part one, this is the LAST time I'm telling you!! I don't own any of the IZ characters, but I DO own The Skeep. THE LITTLE FUZZ NUGGET IS MINE!!! MIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNE!!!!!!  
  
Well, anyway, here's part TWO!!! ^^  
  
  
  
"The Return of The Skeep"  
  
  
  
Zim regained consciousness about an hour later. His back was still to the cold concrete, and the plastic lungfish he had hastily grabbed for a hat was creating a ring of sweat on his forehead. The sun hung lower in the sky now, and would have been right in his eyes, had it not been for a dark figure blocking his light. Zim slowly opened his blue-lensed eyes to be greeted with a glare from a pair of amber-hued eyes, magnified unmercifully by large glass frames.  
  
"Aw, what's wrong Zim?? Did your little friend fly away?" Dib sneered down at the fallen invader. His curiosity about the scene earlier had gotten the best of him: he just had to go back and see what had become of the alien and the bat. The situation was just far too amusing for Dib to ignore.  
  
Zim growled in the back of his throat, eyes narrowing in hatred at his heckler. He then suddenly sprang to his feet and pointed an accusing finger at the raven-haired boy.  
  
"YOU!!!" Zim started, but stopped. He simply froze in place in his position as the other boy eyed him cautiously.  
  
"'Me' what, Zim?" Dib queried, with the subtlest hint of mockery. .  
  
Zim's eye twitched slightly at that, and he growled like a feral cat. "DO NOT PLAY DUMB WITH ME, YOU STINKING HUMAN!!! THIS WAS ALL YOUR DOING!!!" The Irken screeched.  
  
Dib regarded the enraged alien with a rather condescending look, and spoke in a completely deadpan tone. "Right, Zim. I have an entire legion of fluffy little bats under my control because I'm trying to steal your wig. Happy now?"  
  
The alien could only glare at the brash young human before storming off in the direction of the base. Dib watched the alien stomping off over the horizon with a rather amused look. However, he couldn't help wondering about that strange little bat..He remembered some documentary about bats that Gaz had been watching, and according to the very monotonous narrator, North American bats didn't venture out during the day, nor did they ever like to bother with people.  
  
"Huh.." Dib pondered for a moment, but quickly dismissed the matter as unimportant. With a sigh and a shrug, he headed back for home. However, little did he know that two little bright-blue eyes were following him all the way.  
  
Dib remembered to close the front door quietly, so as to avoid his sister's wrath. Gaz, as usual, was planted on the couch with her GameSlave, engrossed in yet another daring battle with the evil Ultra Pigulon. Dib skillfully avoided blocking the light from the TV screen as he made his way to the couch, and plopped down on it like a tossed sack of grain. The sudden weight on the other end of the couch caused Gaz to be thrown upwards and tumble over, her GameSlave slipping from her hands in the process. The game landed under the table, thankfully undamaged. Gaz lay halfway on, halfway off the couch, having just barely kept herself from falling off. Her top lip suddenly began to curl into a vicious sneer..  
  
The low growling noise from the far end of the couch was Dib's first signal that he was going to be in big trouble. Gaz turned her head to look at her big brother, whose skin was suddenly devoid of pigmentation.  
  
"YOU..." Gaz ground her teeth audibly, her tiny hands balling up into tiny, albeit powerful fists.  
  
Dib felt a bead of sweat trickle down the side of his face. He stammered nervously. "Gaz...I..I didn't...I didn't mean to...I..I swear! Gaz, please calm down!"  
  
After a few tense moments of silence, the angry little girl inexplicably withdrew her fists, too tired to bother beating her brother into oblivion. "Dib.." She grumbled, just barely audible.  
  
The boy remained on the alert, not wanting to leave himself open in case this sudden seeming withdrawal was some kind of a new attack strategy.  
  
"Consider yourself lucky that I had just left the save point."  
  
Without any further comments, Gaz hopped down from her perch on the couch to retrieve her beloved GameSlave. Dib wiped away the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve, and decided to bury himself in a magazine to avoid any further confrontation. As he was reaching towards the table to retrieve the latest issue of "Crop Circles Magazine", his little sister shot up from the floor in front of him, blocking his access to the table.  
  
Gaz ground out each word with menacing emphasis. "Dib.. WHERE..IS..MY..GAMESLAVE?"  
  
Dib gulped hard, the lump visibly moving down his throat. Without thinking, he blurted out, "How would I know? YOU dropped it!"  
  
Gaz's eye twitched slightly, and she spoke very slowly and deliberately. "Well, it isn't there, DIB...." The hard emphasis on his name made Dib's skin crawl.  
  
"Yeah, well, I don't have it! Maybe it slid under the couch, or something.." Dib suggested nervously. Gaz eyed him suspiciously before going back down to the floor to continue her search.  
  
Dib let out the breath he had been inadvertently holding, and again attempted to reach over to the table to get his magazine, hoping that he had finally convinced his sister that he knew nothing of the GameSlave's whereabouts. However, his hand met wood when he touched the table, and nothing more. The spot on the table that had been previously occupied by his magazine mere minutes ago was now nothing but an empty space and some stray dust. He checked the immediate area around him, but the magazine was nowhere to be found.  
  
"Gaz? Did my magazine fall off the table? It was just here, but now it's gone.." Dib queried of his younger sibling.  
  
"No, DIB..I haven't seen your stupid magazine..and I can't find my GameSlave, either, meaning you BETTER not have DONE anything with it!" The little girl stood up to face her older brother.  
  
"I already told you I didn't have your stupid game!" Dib was exasperated at his sister's persistence.  
  
Gaz's expression suddenly went very cold; her lip began to curl again, and her eye started to pick up that odd little twitch. "Then what's THAT, DIB???" Gaz pointed next to where her brother was sitting.  
  
"What's WHAT?" Dib questioned before looking down to where his sister was pointing. Sitting beside him, screen still flashing almost mockingly, was that accursed GameSlave. Dib's throat tightened suddenly. "You don't think that..that I put that there, do you?"  
  
"Well, then who else put it there, DIB? A wandering packrat, perhaps?" Gaz questioned her brother in only the most cynical of matters.  
  
"It must have landed there when you dropped it, and neither of us noticed it. I sure didn't put it there. And where's my magazine, huh?" Dib tried to turn the tables on the situation.  
  
"I wouldn't take your dumb magazine if you paid me!" Gaz screeched at her brother, and scooped up her newly-found game. The two continued to squabble until they were interrupted by their father, who had just walked into the room.  
  
The Professor motioned to Dib. "Son, you need to learn to take better care of your things. You really shouldn't put your magazines in the toilet." Membrane held up a soggy issue of "Crop Circles Magazine".  
  
"My magazine!" Dib cried out, and ran to retrieve the moistened magazine from his father. He held it carefully, silently mourning the loss of his precious reading material. "The toilet? What was it doing in the toilet? I sure didn't put it there!"  
  
Membrane shook his head, and waved a finger at his son. "Now now, son. It's not polite to fib. If you didn't put it there, than who did?"  
  
Dib narrowed his eyes, and cast a glare over his shoulder at his sister, who had continued playing her GameSlave. Without pausing from her game, she spoke up. "Don't even give me that look, Dib.. I was in the room with you the whole time, so I couldn't have put your stupid magazine in the toilet."  
  
She was right.. Dib looked back up helplessly at his father, who now had his arms crossed, and one eyebrow raised above his ever-present goggles.  
  
"But, I was in the room the whole time, too! I couldn't have done it!" Dib protested, a hint of desperation in his voice.  
  
"Well, then I don't know, son." Membrane shrugged, arms still crossed. "But, I've got a lot of work to do, so you two just play nice now." With that, he turned on his heels, and marched back towards the lab in that weird, "Professor" way of his.  
  
Dib could only just stand there with his dampened magazine, utterly confused. Gaz did not give the matter any thought, as she now had her GameSlave back. All was right with the world as far as she was concerned.  
  
Down in the lab, which in any normal household would have been a basement, Membrane went back to work on building a better mousetrap, after which he would then start work on building a better mouse. Picking up where he left off, he reached for the hand-held blowtorch, only to find it missing. Meticulously combing the countertops, he became further irritated as the torch proved nowhere to be found. He stood for a moment, scratching his head and thinking. He did that a lot, actually. It was then decided, somewhere in his obviously brilliant mind, that he would go ask his children.  
  
Back upstairs, Gaz had, as she does every once in a great while, put away her GameSlave in favor of another activity. She had decided to draw some more demented piggies to decorate the fridge. Dib, meanwhile, was trying desperately to dry his magazine with a paper fan. He was getting nowhere fast. REAL fast.....  
  
Membrane again ventured out of the lab for the second time in over two weeks. Dib thought to himself that they would have to mark this one down on the calendar - twice in one day! Usually, his father was more elusive than a groundhog..  
  
"So, Dad..did you see your shadow?" Dib quipped cynically, still trying to dry his sodden magazine.  
  
Membrane raised one lone eyebrow, and looked down around his feet. It was so dark where he was standing that he failed to cast any shadow. He seemed confused for a moment, then looked back up at his son and answered in his cheery, deadpan way. "Nope!"  
  
"I'll bet he was completely serious just now.." Dib blinked, then just shook his head.  
  
Completely forgetting about his lack of shadow, Membrane questioned his offspring as to the whereabouts of the torch. "Kids, have you seen my hand- held..fire..thingy? You know, that little metal thing that fire comes out of.."  
  
Dib muttered under his breath. "Maybe Gaz's invisible packrats put it in the toilet.." Gaz looked up from her picture to glare at her brother, but said nothing. Membrane just scratched his head and eyed his children curiously before turning to go back to the lab. However, he didn't make it far before he came crashing to the floor with enough force to cause Gaz's soda to splash out onto her piggy picture. This at least distracted her enough to notice that her father on the other side of the room had just fallen flat on his face.  
  
Gaz raised one questioning eyebrow, face actually showing the tiniest hint of concern. "Dad..?"  
  
"I'm okay, kids.." Membrane managed to sit up. "I just tripped over something.." He looked to where he had tripped. There, lying by his feet, was his missing torch. "Well..I'll be darned!" Without another word, Membrane scooped up the torch, and his remaining dignity, and headed back to the lab. The two siblings looked at each other for a moment, then just shrugged and turned back to their previous activities.  
  
Dib had finished drying nearly half the magazine. He was about to start on the other half when he heard his sister's familiar growl. He looked over to where she was laying on the floor. "NOW what's wrong?" He queried.  
  
Gaz ground out a menacing, throaty reply. "Where..are..my..CRAYONS?"  
  
Dib rolled his eyes and sighed, exasperated. "I haven't moved from this spot in the last 15 minutes, Gaz. And besides, what would I want with your crayons? They probably just rolled away or something when Dad fell.."  
  
"The BOX of crayons rolled away, DIB?" Gaz regarded her brother suspiciously.  
  
Dib just shrugged in response. Gaz sighed, and put her head in her hands. After a few minutes, she finally got up to go get another soda. When she opened the fridge door, she was greeted by the sight of her box of crayons, carelessly tossed in the fridge next to one of Dad's many disastrous culinary experiments: corn salad. She turned up her nose, and quickly retrieved her crayons before they might somehow become infected with corn stench.  
  
She stomped back into the living room, crayon box in hand. She stopped in front of the TV, blocking the picture. Dib tried to see around her, then made a sound of protest. "Gaz, could you quit blocking the TV? "Mysterious Mysteries" is on!"  
  
"What were my crayons doing in the fridge, DIB?" Gaz thrust the box of colorful wax sticks in her brother's face.  
  
Dib pushed the box away, and still kept trying to see around his little sister. Irritated, he finally replied, "I don't know! Maybe they were warm, so they jumped in the fridge! Now, could you please move so I can see the TV??"  
  
Gaz decided to let it drop, and went back to coloring her picture. However, when she pulled out the brown crayon to draw some mud for the demented piggies to roll around in, she noticed that the crayon was all...chewed up... Startled, she dropped the crayon, and went to check the rest of the crayons in the box.. Chewed up. Every last one of them.... She made a sound of disgust at her discovery, and turned again to her brother. But, before she could say anything, she heard a strange rustling sound from somewhere, then:  
  
"BURP!"  
  
Gaz twisted her nose in disgust, and glared at her sibling. "DIB! That's DISGUSTING!"  
  
Dib raised one lone eyebrow. "ME? I thought YOU did it!"  
  
Gaz crossed her arms. "No. I did not."  
  
Dib just rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well somebody did it! And I doubt it was Dad, unless he's been eating radishes again..."  
  
"Even on radishes, he never belches THAT loud!" Gaz cocked her head at her brother.  
  
"Yeah, well.." Dib started, but was suddenly interrupted by a strangle rustling sound coming from under the couch. "What the heck was that?"  
  
"I..don't know.." Gaz crawled over to the couch. "It sounds like it came from under here." She sat up, and got the flashlight out of the end table drawer, then shone the beam under the couch. The light immediately reflected off of something shiny...  
  
"Marbles..?" Gaz thought to herself as she tried to get a better look. Then suddenly, the two "marbles" shot towards her.  
  
"SKEEEEEEEEEEP!" A fluffy little creature popped its head out from under the couch. Taken by surprise, Gaz screamed and fell backwards as the critter quickly shuffled out from under the couch, frantically searched the room with its eyes, then took off out the nearby window.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT????" Gaz screeched, clutching at her heart and trying to catch her breath.  
  
Dib stared out the window for a few moments. "Was that..?" He shook his head. "Nah..couldn't have been.." Dib just went back to reading his freshly-dried magazine, and put the whole situation out of his mind.  
  
From that point on, Gaz made it a point to keep all windows in the house permanently closed. 


	3. Revenge of the Skeep

Well, here comes yet ANOTHER chapter in the continuing saga of "The Skeep"! Okay, so it's not really a saga... It's just fun. For those of you who may have ignored the two previous disclaimers, I do not own any of the IZ characters. I DO, however, own the Skeep. Much to my chagrin, I am stuck with the little bastard for all eternity...You may have noticed the rating has changed from a "G" to a "PG" - this is because there are some very mild expletives in this chapter. Also, sorry about this particular chapter being so short, but at least it's an update!! :P  
  
  
  
"Revenge of the Skeep"  
  
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~  
  
Mme. Director awoke to find her obstinate little pet bat missing from his hutch......AGAIN.  
  
She growled, and flung off the covers, only to have them land right on top of her little Skeep, who was perched on the headboard of her bed.  
  
The creature panicked, flapping its wings as hard as it could under the weight of the heavy comforter, and squealing in alarm. Mme. D quickly pulled the comforter off of the little bat. "That's what you GET for sneaking out of your hutch!"  
  
"Mommy?" The little thing chirped as he was scooped up into his master's arms. Mme. D set the little creature aside as she hurriedly made her bed. She was finished within minutes, but when she turned around to scold her belligerent little pet, she found him gone......AGAIN. And, the fridge had been raided as well. Two empty pickle jars lay broken on the floor. Mme. D just sighed in exasperation and went to cleaning the mess without further comment.  
  
~ * ~  
  
Meanwhile, Dib was still slumbering peacefully in his bed, enjoying the extra hours he could afford to nap on Saturdays. Since he didn't really care for any of the Saturday morning cartoons that were on, he usually didn't feel the need to get up until around noon. However, this particular Saturday morning, he wouldn't be sleeping in for very long.  
  
Dib was awoken by the feel of something scratching at his neck. When he opened his eyes, he was greeted by the unpleasant site of the inside of a bat's mouth. The young paranormalist screamed, and nearly tumbled off the edge of his bed. For whatever reason, there was the Skeep, it's jaws locked around the frames of Dib's glasses. Dib grasped at the blurry image before him, and managed to snatch his glasses from the creature's mouth. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust.  
  
"WHAT THE HELL???" Dib backed away from the creature sitting on the other side of his bed.  
  
"SKEEP!" The creature chirped  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU, ANYWAY???" The boy demanded of the creature. All he got in response was an obstinate raspberry blown in his direction. Dib growled. "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!"  
  
The creature shook its head, then turned on Dib's radio to the maximum volume with it's foot, and started to do a demented little dance to Jimmy Soul's "If You Wanna Be Happy".  
  
Dib's eye twitched, and he was about to strangle the furry little beast, until his sister kicked open his door in a blind rage.  
  
"DIB, TURN THAT CRAP DOWN, OR I'LL RIP OFF YOUR HEAD, AND POUR RANCID PICKLE JUICE DOWN YOUR NECK!!!!" Gaz screeched, then stopped, staring wide- eyed at the scene before her. Dib was looking sufficiently rankled, while a strange little bat-like creature seemed to be doing it's own twisted version of a salsa dance on his pillow.  
  
She would have burst out laughing, had she not, for once, been at a complete loss for words. She pointed at the Skeep. "What...?" She started, before the creature suddenly stopped its dance, hopped down from the bed, and darted right between her feet and out the bedroom door. Both siblings could only just look at each other for a moment, then took off in the direction the creature had fled.  
  
They hadn't seen exactly where the little beast had run off to, but from the loud sounds of breaking glass, it wasn't too hard to find him. Gaz and Dib stood in horror at the scene before them: There were empty plastic containers, various smushed vegetables, many tiny broken shards of glass, and copious amounts of pickle juice all over the kitchen floor, and right in the middle of it sat one very bloated-looking bat, fur completely caked in Grey Poupon.  
  
"BRRRRRRRRRRRRRUP!" The thing belched.  
  
Dib fell to his knees, and put his head in his hands. "What are we supposed to tell DAD about this mess???" He whined.  
  
"Yeah, well, I'M not getting blamed for it!!!" Gaz leaped forward and made a play to catch the creature, but slipped on the pickle juice covering the floor, and ended up slamming headfirst into the dishwasher. The Skeep, who hadn't even moved from his place on the floor, continued nibbling on a pickle.  
  
Suddenly, Dib heard a pair of familiar footsteps approaching from behind. "OH SHIT! IT'S DAD!!!" Gaz straightened up quickly at this. "What are we gonna DO??" Dib started to panic. "He can't see all of THIS!" Dib motioned to the gigantic mess in the kitchen, with the little bat still busy mawing down on a pickle.  
  
"Too late."  
  
Dib froze, and slowly tilted his head up to see his father standing over him, his arms folded, and with a very sour look on his face (from what Dib could tell, anyway, seeing as his father's face was perpetually hidden behind the collar of his lab coat...)  
  
Dib began to laugh nervously. "Eh...heh heh.... DAD! Heh...what are you doing up so early? Heh heh heh..."  
  
The Professor was not amused. "It's past 10:00, SON...Just what is going on in here?"  
  
"Um..."Dib froze, trying to think of an answer. "Uh.....HE DID IT!" Dib pointed towards the creature.  
  
  
  
Membrane cocked an eyebrow. "WHO did it?"  
  
Dib regarded his father curiously for a moment, then looked back to where the creature had been. The little bat was nowhere to be seen. "But...BUT...IT WAS THERE!!!"  
  
Gaz chimed in. "Dib's actually NOT crazy for a change, Dad..... There really WAS something there!"  
  
Membrane just sighed and shook his head. "And just WHAT was it that made this mess?"  
  
Dib stammered. "I....I don't know!" Gaz smacked her forehead.  
  
"It was a BAT, or something!" She added, trying to cover for her brother's lacking answer.  
  
"Now now, kids...Everyone knows that bats don't eat pickles." He waved a scolding finger at his kids. "Now, you two clean up this mess, and no more of these silly little bat stories!" With that, he turned on his heals, and sauntered on back to his lab.  
  
The two siblings grudgingly began to clean up the disaster left behind by the Skeep, still wondering where the strange little creature went to......  
  
  
  
~ * ~  
  
So, what do you guys think so far? Yes, it was very short, but I'm not very inspired lately! Reviewing really helps me get inspired (hint hint) PLEASE GIVE ME MANY REVIEWS!!! 


	4. Crouching Skeep, Hidden Pickle

Welp…After how many YEARS, I decided that perhaps it was time that I stopped neglecting all my stories… not to mention that I also have two other ideas for stories that need to get made… --;; BTW… a few things I should mention… Kind of like a cross between Gizmo and a parrot, the Skeep can actually speak some minimal amounts of English, but never more than a word or two at a time. Why this is, I have not stopped to figure out yet. ;; Also, I decided to have Mme. Director make more of an appearance in this fic (she's the owner of the Skeep, remember?) Please don't kill me for putting in another fancharacter!! Geesh, I complain about there being too many fics with fancharacters, and yet here I am DOING IT!!! Though, I suppose these aren't your usual fancharacters…they really have nothing to do with the characters of the show except crossing paths in this fic…. Anyhow, I also have a couple of pictures, one of Mme. Director, and an updated version of "The Skeep" himself… (it dances!) Okay… I REALLY need to shut up now… OO' (wonders if anyone will actually read all this…)  
  
Mme. Director (there's a little preview for one of the next fics I'll be writing, and the pic has some basic information about Mme. D, if anyone cares… --; I never understood the whole fancharacter thing, until I created my own…   
  
The NEW and IMPROVED "Skeep!" last thing… I don't own Invader Zim. Viacom does. All I own is the Skeep and Mme. D. And with that said, on to CHAPTER FOUR!  
  
"SKEEP DOES DALLAS!" blurts out laughing kidding…  
  
"The GIR and Mr. Skeep"  
  
"YEOWCH!!! ERGH! YOU WRETCHED…..THING!!"  
  
Zim removed his ever-present glove and inspected his minty-green Irken hand for any burn damage. Something was most definitely wrong with his back pod… it had never short-circuited like that before, and it ESPECIALLY never sparked like it just had…  
  
Zim slipped his hand back into his glove, and stood back from the table a moment, pondering the situation. Looking around the room, he spotted a pair of salad tongs that GIR must have left in the lab. At least it would allow him the distance from the wires so he wouldn't get ZAPPED again…  
  
Zim grabbed the plastic tongs, and attempted to go back in after that weird shiny thing he saw….  
  
The stench of vinegar suddenly attacked Zim's senses as he pulled out the cause of his pod's malfunction.  
  
"What do they call these disgusting, smelly, drippy things again…?" Zim thought to himself. "A……..pickle…?" Zim growled to himself, and discarded the filthy human object of disgust into the proper waste receptacle. "GIR….."  
  
Zim marched over to the elevator, and ascended up into the house. No sooner had he come up through the toilet lid than his auditory senses were assaulted by GIR's ubiquitous, high-pitched, laughter.  
  
"Well, at least he's HERE…" Zim muttered begrudgingly to himself.  
  
The Irken soldier stormed into the living room, where he was greeted by the site of GIR cackling maniacally and kicking his little metallic legs in the air while a frighteningly familiar fluffy fiend had a purple drink umbrella in it's mouth, and was doing an odd little dance as Shonen Knife's "Cannibal Papaya" played on the radio.  
  
It took a moment for this odd scene to fully register in the little alien's head.  
  
Zim suddenly sprang forward, pointing at the dancing creature. "YOU!!!!"  
  
The downy little beast froze. He turned and stared at the wicked villain intruding his fun time with his new friend. Upon recognizing the familiar green tone of the gatecrashing alien's skin, he promptly spit the umbrella out at the enraged Irken, and fled to a safe spot under the couch.  
  
Zim followed suit. "COME BACK HERE AND FACE ME, YOU WRETCHED LITTLE BEAST!!!" Zim dove to the couch and tried to grasp around underneath in search of the furry little monster…  
  
The Skeep, meanwhile, had other plans.  
  
While Zim was occupied grasping around in the darkness under the couch, the little bat slipped out from under the side, and quietly snuck around behind the irritated Irken.  
  
"SKEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!" The Skeep flapped it's wings loudly as it screeched it's little lungs out.  
  
"GAAAAH!!!" Zim was so startled he ended up hitting his head on the underside of the couch and knocking himself unconscious….AGAIN…  
  
The curious Skeep waddled over to where the Irken lay with his head still under the couch. The creature cocked his head at the fallen invader, then delicately reached out one of it's clawed feet, and ripped a large hole in the seat of Zim's pants.  
  
"Pickle!" The thing chirped, before skittering off out the front door. GIR watched the creature for a moment as it disappeared from view, then quick threw on his disguise and also took off out the front door.  
  
"WAIT! I WANT A PICKLE TOOOOOOOO!!!!"  
  
Meanwhile, Hildegard Widigast seemed even more irate than usual. Her belligerent little pet hadn't been home for more than two days. Even though he was known to escape his hutch every once in a while, he usually returned within a day or so… Despite the fact that the creature was a constant annoyance to the young film directress, she still somewhat admired the creature for it's independence… The little bat kind of reminded her of herself sometimes…  
  
She stapled another flyer to the fence in front of her. On it was a candid picture of the Skeep as he was rummaging through a pickle jar. Under the photo, it read: "Have you seen this little bastard?" and the usual contact information. Mme. Director gazed at the picture and sighed.  
  
"He really does remind me of myself…" She thought, then paused a moment.   
  
"I should probably avoid having children…"  
  
BZZZZZZZZZZZT!!!!  
  
"YAAAAAAH!!!!"  
  
"No one gets in to see the Professor WITHOUT SECURITY CLEARANCE!!! How many times do I have to EXPLAIN this to you???"  
  
"And how many times do I have to explain to YOU that he's my DAD?!?!?" Dib countered the guard's statement.  
  
"LOOK, kid…I don't care WHO you are…unless you have SECURITY CLEARANCE, or you MAKE IT INTO THE AUDIENCE, NO ONE gets in the studio!! Audience tryouts are on the OTHER SIDE of the BUILDING, and this is the LAST time I'm gonna explain this to you!" The guard again zapped the little trenchcoated boy with the large cattle prod.  
  
"YAAAAAAAAAH!!!! KNOCK IT OFF!!!!" Dib backed away from the power-tripping guard. "Hey, I was here for the ceremony for the unveiling of the P.E.G. generator, and they gave me security clearance THEN!!"  
  
"That was a special circumstance. We don't use the same detection equipment on normal days. Now why don't you just LEAVE already??" The guard held out the cattle prod defensively, and Dib jumped backwards, just missing getting fried again. Dib was about to say something when he suddenly noticed two frighteningly familiar figures cross the lawn outside the building.  
  
"HEY!! WHAT ABOUT THEM??? THEY'RE JUST WALKING RIGHT IN!!!" Dib pointed behind the guard to the disguised robot and the bat.  
  
"OH no… I'm not falling for THAT one, kid…Now why don't you just go HOME??"  
  
"BUT JUST LOOK BEHIND YOU!!! THEY'RE RIGHT THERE!!!"  
  
"That's the oldest trick in the book! You really think I'm gonna fall for THAT??"  
  
"BUT THEY…..ERGH… FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, THEY'RE….!!!!" Dib sighed and shook his head in disbelief as the critter and the robot walked right past the other guard and into the building. Unbeknownst to anyone else, the other guard was fast asleep standing up. It was usually pretty quiet at this job except for that Dib kid, but they were so used to him trying to get into the building at least every other week that he decided to just let the rookie take care of it so he could get some more "guarding" experience. Indeed, he was far past asleep when GIR and the Skeep snuck right past him and through the front door…  
  
"THEY JUST WENT RIGHT PAST THAT OTHER GUY AND INTO THE BUILDING!!!" Dib insisted.  
  
"Okay, kid.. I'll humor you… WHO just went into the building?" The guard leaned on his cattle prod like a cane.  
  
"A little dog…thing…. And a little BAT…thing!!!"  
  
Mme. Director's ear twitched. What was that she just heard??  
  
"And you say they just walked right on past that other trained guard over there?" The guard questioned disbelievingly.  
  
"Well, YEAH…." Dib replied in a rather snide tone.  
  
"WHAT was it you said that went into that building?" A deep female voice with a heavy German accent inquired. Dib turned around to see where the voice had come from. Mme. D. approached the two arguing males, still holding an unusually large staple gun and an armload of flyers.  
  
"A little green dog and this…bat…thing…" Dib answered, eyeing the strange young woman curiously.  
  
"HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!! Who are YOU?? DROP THAT WEAPON!!" The guard held up the large cattle prod in a fighting stance.  
  
The somewhat-threatening young woman quirked an eyebrow. "It's a stapler. Though, I doubt a person like you has ever even seen PAPER before, let alone tools to work with it."  
  
The guard took a defensive stance. "Hey, I've SEEN paper before, lady! I went to public school once!"  
  
"Well... that explains it then..." Mme. Director smirked.  
  
"Ya know, I don't GET you, lady..." The jerk with the cattle-prod stammered, then again raised the electric psychological extension of his manhood. "Now...are you gonna drop that weapon and back away slowly, or am I gonna have to get TOUGH?"  
  
"Oh, electrocute me, big boy. I love a man who knows how to work animal torture devices. ROWR." Despite laughing hysterically on the inside, the young directress delivered the line with an astoundingly straight face. She also completely floored the guard, who was now completely unsure of how to deal with the situation.  
  
Amused and satisfied with the results of her brilliant stroke of acting, 'Hilde' turned to face the small, raven-haired boy next to her. "Now...you said that a..."bat thing"..." she paused, making 'quote marks' in the air with her fingers, "...went in that studio?"  
  
"Yeah. And he was with an alien robot disguised as a green dog." Dib responded, in all seriousness.  
  
"Uhhh............Well hot damn, I'll bet he was! Now, if you'll excuse me..." She quipped sarcastically, as she turned back to deal with the guard.  
  
The young paranormalist seemed slightly peeved. "I'm not crazy..."  
  
Hilde looked back over her shoulder at him. "Uh HUH..........................OH MY GOD WHAT THE HECK IS THAT?!?!?" She screamed, pointing far behind the vertically-challenged boy.  
  
Dib didn't even flinch, let alone look behind him. "Do you have any idea how many times people have done that to me?"  
  
'Yes, well... I'm sure they all had reasons." She threw him a plastic smile, then made a little 'shoo shoo' motion with her hand. "Okay, go away now."  
  
Dib regarded her coldly. "Nope."  
  
Mme. Director growled slightly in the back of her throat, then focused her attention on the black and purple blur at the back of her vision slowly making it's way up the sidewalk.  
  
"Gaz?" Dib had turned to look to where the directress so intently tried to focus her vision. He then looked back up to the young woman and raised an eyebrow. "Do you need glasses or something?"  
  
Hilde scowled. "I forgot them. So sue me."  
  
Gaz stopped a few feet in front of her brother and the strange woman, eyeing them curiously for a moment, then reaching out and grabbing her brother by the arm. "Come on, Dib. Time to stop bothering Dad for once, and help me clean the kitchen again. It still smells like pickles."  
  
Dib struggled in his sister's vice-like grip. "But... we CAN'T leave NOW! I just saw that thing go into Dad's studio!"  
  
"You mean that BAT that's made our house forever REAK of pickle juice? Then, yeah...." Gaz paused, lowering her voice, "... It's on now...." The violent little girl grasped her brother's arm roughly, and proceeeded to go around the back of the studio to the staff entrance.  
  
"Hey... hey, wait!" Mme. Director ran out in front of them. "That 'bat' is my PET. If anyone's gonna find him and kick his fuzzy little butt, it's gonna be ME!"  
  
Gaz looked up with her usual half-lidded stare. "Yeah. That's nice." Without further word, she walked around the rainbow-haired woman towards her destination. Hilde looked on incredulously as the pig-headed guard not only let the purple-haired girl just waltz on past him, but actually saluted her as she did so.  
  
Not to be outdone, she turned her nose up in the air and attempted to follow the children while the guard was still in saluting-position...only to have him snap back in a millisecond: cattle-prod aimed and ready to strike.  
  
"And just where do you think YOU'RE going??" He snarled.  
  
The young woman's jaw dropped slightly, and she pointed to where Gaz and Dib dissappeared from view. "You let HER through! AND the other kid! And they're just CHILDREN!"  
  
"She has clearance. And anyone else can get in as long as they're accompanied by someone ELSE with clearance." The guard stated, matter-of-factly.  
  
Mme. Director was exasperated. "How does a CHILD have clearance????"  
  
"I'm afraid that's classified information."  
  
"......Sure. Fine." Hilde crossed her arms and sat in the middle of the sidewalk, pouting. She cocked an eye up at the guard as he again raised his cattle prod.  
  
"HEY! NO LOITERING!"  
  
Okay so... not the best place to end it on, but I just wanted to post SOMETHING.... it's going to get better soon. Trust me. :) NOW REVIEW OR DIE!  
  
...just kidding. 


End file.
